A simple routine-tweak can liven things up, says William J. Doherty, Ph.D., professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota in St. Paul and founder of the Doherty Relationship Institute
Creating stress-free time to connect on a regular basis is vital and very important to the inner workings of a healthy relationship, Doherty says. "The happiest couples have found a way to fit rituals into their lives—even if they have kids," he explains. (Do you want to pick up some healthier habits
Here's how to squeeze one of these rituals into your day, as well as two more secrets to keep your marriage fresh
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Think small
You don't have to change what you're already doing. Just do it together, Doherty suggests. Maybe you could have a cup of coffee together in the morning, or go for a walk. Commit to making it a standing date, he says. Even 10 minutes of talking in bed together before you turn out the light can make a difference, he adds. Also—and this may go without saying—agree to not disagree during this time. Don't try to solve family problems, discuss finances, or figure out who would drive and do the shopping .. "Things like that kill couple rituals," he says. The goal: Relax and connect
You don't have to change what you're already doing. Just do it together, Doherty suggests. Maybe you could have a cup of coffee together in the morning, or go for a walk. Commit to making it a standing date, he says. Even 10 minutes of talking in bed together before you turn out the light can make a difference, he adds. Also—and this may go without saying—agree to not disagree during this time. Don't try to solve family problems, discuss finances, or figure out who would drive and do the shopping .. "Things like that kill couple rituals," he says. The goal: Relax and connect
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Schedule a sex night
Making love is supposed to be spontaneous, which makes scheduling it seem anything but romantic. But smart long-term couples know that's nonsense . By making a regular date to do it, you'll be able to plan for sex and build excitement, experts say. With all your other obligations, you can't rely on spontaneity. Like Valentine's Day or your partner's birthday, commit to a weekly or bi-weekly "sex night
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Don't freak out over fights
If you're not fighting, you're not trying—or so the saying goes. And research suggests that's true. As long as you're keeping your arguments civil and on-topic—that means no name-calling, or "you always do this" language—arguments are probably a sign you both still care