going to work no matter how hard I try, my methodical nature surfaces and what follows is the restructuring of my life prior to the dissolution of any relationship. Honestly, my post-relationship blues preparation hasn’t changed much over the past 15 years in that I’ve always relied on music during rough patches and sought comfort in a Paul Simon songs since 10 years ago when I experienced my first heartbreak. Rather than devour 10 pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I let the words of my favorite folk singer to ring true: “the answer is easy if you take it logically…I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free, there must be 50 ways to leave your lover.” With that said, I urge you to read on should you find yourself in a similar situation and in need of advice on how to go about leaving him and starting anew.
(15)- He May Not Be The One.
Cherish the fact that you feel love for another person and have had the opportunity to both open yourself to love and learn from it while understanding that relationships do not function well on love alone. It takes hard work, dedication, commitment, and compromise to create a healthy and sustainable relationship. On that note, similar core values make for a solid foundation from which a rewarding relationship may come to be. If your value systems, interests, or goals are incompatible; feelings of love may not be enough to keep the relationship alive. However, if you feel as though you have not found your soulmate in the person you currently love the most, always remember that your perfect complement is out there somewhere. When you come to this realization and genuinely love someone you will let them go if they are not the right person for you regardless of the insurmountable pain this may bring.
(14)- People Grow Apart.
As your relationship progresses your social life and career will evolve. At times, these changes act as competing forces which make way for distance, allowing people to grow apart from one another; this is perfectly natural. View this happening as an opportunity to open yourself up to meeting someone new who might be more in tune with your personal endeavors and future goals. People are attracted to open, friendly faces, with that said it never hurts to work on polishing your demeanor and mastering the art of body language to attract a potential love interest. To ensure that you remain open to others, engage in your favorite activities in a group setting where you can seek out like-minded individuals. In so doing, you are telling the universe that you are both ready to move on and interested in meeting new people, one of whom may be your lifelong soulmate.
(13)- Fear Should Not Act As The Key To Your Heart.
Remember, that you are capable of making it on your own and never allow an emotion such as fear limit your potential. During Franklin D. Roosevelt’s inaugural speech, he asserted his firm belief that “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. Why let an emotion dictate your everyday actions and limit your potential? You may be in need of a familiar face yet that visage may belong to someone who just is not right for you. To mitigate fear, meet it with preparation and a decent well thought out plan for self-improvement. If you think that you cannot make it on your own throw yourself into the job market, learn how to gain new fundamental skills and make wise financial decisions. Doing that will allow you to grow and is sure to leave you with a renewed sense of self. It is better to be alone and thrive then stuck in an unhealthy counterproductive relationship.
(12)- Best Not To Burn Bridges.
Although things may not work out try your best to end a relationship with a sense of civility and dignity rather than hold a grudge. There is no need to trash talk the other person; this tactic only reflects poorly on you. Essentially, this person could help or hurt you depending on connections they may or may not possess. Trust me, it is better to stand tall and rise above the urge to spread false rumors about someone or paint them in a bad light. For in doing so, one reflects their true colors. If you want to maintain your moral fiber and lead a drama free existence, then spend time doing meaningful things and avoid a smear campaign. Personally, I rarely believe everything I hear and typically try to identify a trash talker’s motive for speaking negatively about another instead of listening to the falsehoods that graze their lips. Usually, this technique is used to propel oneself forward but can blow up in one’s face in the long run.
Although things may not work out try your best to end a relationship with a sense of civility and dignity rather than hold a grudge. There is no need to trash talk the other person; this tactic only reflects poorly on you. Essentially, this person could help or hurt you depending on connections they may or may not possess. Trust me, it is better to stand tall and rise above the urge to spread false rumors about someone or paint them in a bad light. For in doing so, one reflects their true colors. If you want to maintain your moral fiber and lead a drama free existence, then spend time doing meaningful things and avoid a smear campaign. Personally, I rarely believe everything I hear and typically try to identify a trash talker’s motive for speaking negatively about another instead of listening to the falsehoods that graze their lips. Usually, this technique is used to propel oneself forward but can blow up in one’s face in the long run.
(11)- It Takes Two To Tango.
Resist the urge to blame your partner for all relationship troubles. They probably cheated on you. Or, probably not, regardless if the foundation of a relationship is weak, usually one person is not to blame. Truth be told you are an adult and made a conscious decision to get involved with this individual. Unfortunately, not all relationships work out for the best but rarely is that due to the actions or inactions of one party. In most cases, both partners are responsible for downfall of a relationship. Plus, pointing fingers is useless and typically causes negative results. The very act of moving on calls for letting go and failing to accept responsibility for one’s actions can lead to a situation where letting go becomes nearly impossible. For the sake of closure, try not to dwell on how the other person may have left you feeling slighted. Instead, embrace the day and move forward.
(10)- Avoid Settling.
If you are not happy yet comfortable, challenge yourself to find someone can provide you with unlimited amount of joy. Know that your value is not measured by whether or not you are involved in a serious relationship. Contrary to what we are socialized to believe being single is not the worst thing in the world. Wouldn’t you rather be alone than entrenched in a relationship that is a product of convenience? Settling is akin to limiting one’s opportunities for personal growth and happiness.
Why limit your options when there are plenty of people who are capable of meeting you halfway? When you settle, you truly close yourself off to those who may bring you endless joy.
Believe me, the right person is out there–you just have to make yourself available to them, when you do that love will bring you good fortune inso many ways.
(9)- Sometimes You Just Need To Leave.
If you put your foot down, expect that he may lash out and try to manipulate you to stay–he too fears being alone. Again, know that you deserve happiness and can stand on your own two feet. you should realize that you need to look out for yourself. With that said, your own interests and opportunities for advancement are important and sometimes placing these priorities before others is the best thing one can do especially if their partner insists on limiting their potential. During tumultuous times, he may leave you feeling vulnerable and inadequate. When and if he makes you feel small for trying to go, view this as a sign that you truly must leave. Control and fear are the tools of a weak person; wielded to keep others close in the name of fear. Remember when you allow the other to determine the course of your existence you place yourself in a position of disempowerment.
(8)- Money Does Not Overshadow Character Flaws.
Probably you feel financially secure and that is why you haven’t had the courage to leave. Although, it is easy to fall into a relationship where you rely on another’s finances, doing so is not always right. As they say: “all that glitters is not gold.” Money buys a level of comfort, not happiness. Studies suggest that once one’s basic needs are met, happiness levels do not vary among the extremely wealthy and members of the middle class. In short, money talks but it cannot make up for that fact that he forgot your birthday or simply doesn’t treat you with respect. Instead of making yourself financially vulnerable, try to diversify your job skills and assets. Financial security begets independence, freedom, and endless possibilities. This is why it is in your best interest to build new marketable skills, that way you can refuse to rely on someone who uses money as a point of leverage.
(7)- Maybe He Isn’t Ready To Commit.
Let’s be real for a moment, most people make life decisions based on their biological clocks. If you are ready to settle down, get married, and start a family and he isn’t showing any signs of commitment, then move on and find someone who is ready to move in this direction. Commitment-phobic individuals rarely change in that regard. If you have invested a lot of time and energy into trying to get to know one another and he has yet to reach the commitment phase, then you may be on a path to a dysfunctional future. Sometimes, it is not worth waiting for someone to demonstrate that they are ready to settle down and get married. Ultimately, relationships flourish when both partners share goals without that, there is very little to base a relationship on in the long-term. Rather than wait for someone whose feet are stuck in the mud so to speak, go out and find the one who will devote themselves to you, sans reservations.
Hany
(6)- You Deserve Better.
In the wise words of Stephen Chobsky “we accept the love we think we deserve.” Know that you deserve happiness and fulfillment and do not let anyone tell you any different. If you feel otherwise, then it may be best for you to focus on developing yourself as a person until you are ready to bring people into your life that want to build you up in lieu of tearing you down. Caustic critics will try their hardest to damage your psyche and will succeed only if you allow them to; ignore their efforts to tear you down no matter how persistent they may be. For the most part I have found that like attracts like in many respects. Surround yourself with positive people, rest assured doing so will increase the likelihood that you will find a deserving significant other–someone who will accept you for who you are, personality flaws, quirks, and all.
(5)- Don’t Be Too Hard With Yourself.
Go forth with this sentiment occupying the forefront of your mind: relationships come and go but true love withstands the test of time. If nothing else, a break up can evolve into a perfect learning opportunity. For every relationship that doesn’t work out in your favor, you may walk away from it with a better sense of self. More than that, such relationships can make you aware of what you are looking for in a partner. Blaming yourself for something that was not meant to be is counterproductive. In essence, preoccupying yourself with past events will prevent you from moving forward with your everyday life. There is no harm in trying to develop a better understanding of why things did not work out because this knowledge can lead to a more complete sense of self-awareness. However, excessive self-reflection and criticism will do no good in the grand scheme of things.
(4)- You Can Handle A Breakup.
Breakups and divorces can be complex logistical and emotional messes. As with many things, one decision can impact someone hundreds of miles away, seeing as people are connected in seemingly obscure yet inexorable ways. You may think up a long list of results from relying on oneself, forget about the what ifs and know that you can make it on your own. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that it is going to be alright. No matter the obstacles and hardships you have endured, or may face in the future as a result of reorganizing your life, remember that you can always prevail if you choose to have faith in yourself. The move may be hard and the division of assets could get cumbersome, please give yourself some credit and acknowledge that it is more than likely that you are an incredibly capable woman who can manage.
Breakups and divorces can be complex logistical and emotional messes. As with many things, one decision can impact someone hundreds of miles away, seeing as people are connected in seemingly obscure yet inexorable ways. You may think up a long list of results from relying on oneself, forget about the what ifs and know that you can make it on your own. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that it is going to be alright. No matter the obstacles and hardships you have endured, or may face in the future as a result of reorganizing your life, remember that you can always prevail if you choose to have faith in yourself. The move may be hard and the division of assets could get cumbersome, please give yourself some credit and acknowledge that it is more than likely that you are an incredibly capable woman who can manage.
(3)- Reach Out For Support.
People are stronger in numbers–there’s no shame in reaching out for support when you are going through a hard time. You may be surprised by how much you can receive if you are willing to ask. True friends will be there through thick and thin. As long as you let them in, rest assured someone will be there to provide emotional support when you are going through a difficult time. I cannot stress the importance of letting your friends and family know what is going on so they can offer support in the way of a phone call or maybe even a face time chat. Additionally, spending time with friends will take your mind off of the break up even if that distraction is short-lived. Making an effort to surround yourself with supportive, genuine, and kind people who truly have your best interests in mind will benefit you in countless ways.
(2)- Avoid Prolonging The Inevitable.
When you realize that at times the grass is much greener on the other side–end the relationship. In place of dragging your feet, remain confident, methodical, efficient, and precise in how you go about ending said relationship. In essence, it is better to let him know sooner rather than later, that way he can undergo the grieving process and move on with his life. Prior to breaking the news to him ensure your ducks are in a row. Thereafter, try your best not to fill him with fake hope, such antics are both unfair and somewhat cruel. In the event that you are wavering between whether or not you truly want to break up with him, take a moment to determine what you want out of a romantic relationship and life in general. It never hurts to make a list of pros and cons this is a great way to facilitate any decision making process.
Hany
(1)- Reinvent Yourself And Pack Your Bags.
Ultimately, if your relationship brings you misery it may consume your very being, as it feeds the aging process and takes a toll on your appearance, yet one thing remains the same: under such circumstances it is highly unlikely that things will change for the better. Seeing as people tend not to change, very little if anything will be different in the future unless both individuals make a concerted effort to improve upon the overall relationship dynamic. It is okay though, there truly is no need to fret over the disintegration of an unhealthy relationship. Bear in mind, you now have the opportunity to grow in the name of self-improvement and self-fulfillment. Although, it may be difficult–sometimes the best thing to do is pack your bags and leave free the hopes of starting a new meaningful life. As they say, maybe all you need is a change in perspective.